No Cleaner Than a Kitchen

Such is life. It is no cleaner than a kitchen; it reeks of a kitchen; and if you mean to cook your dinner, you must expect to soil your hands; the real art is in getting them clean again, and therein lies the whole morality of our epoch.

HONORÉ DE BALZAC
French novelist and playwright
1799—1850
Father Goriot

Excerpted from Ian Makay’s Food for Thought: The Pleasures of the Table: Primi Piatti. 

Balzac’s metaphor may mirror reality in more ways than any of us want to know. This edition of musings examines that more literally with articles from AOL and CNN.

Our What’s Cool list continues in a somewhat related vein with fun for the kiddos to enjoy with the family. But fear not. Solutions are also offered to help address those things we can control in the kitchen. And there’s even a “not-so-subtle” suggestion for dealing with those things more out of our control.

What We’re Reading includes a nonfiction classic I’ve had on my bookshelf since the 1980s. Definitely something to … umm … sink your teeth into. David Nicholls’ bestseller is our delicious fiction selection, while our special pick is something for the dad in your life. Of course, we must return to the kitchen with this issue’s cookbook feature from the Dogg’s house.

And don’t forget to look for quotes from some of these selections across our social media platforms.

Francine Lizotte (better known as Club Foody to most) closes out this edition’s musings with a recipe and some historical context. É voilà! What We’re Eating is cassoulet!

What’s Wonderful and Weird

Sugar and Spice and Not so Nice

Aol uncovered the dirtiest things in your kitchen recently and the revelations were … well … eww!

Imagine that lovely stew you’re whipping up. Cutting the vegetables and the meat. Adding just the right blend of seasoning. Creating your perfect take on a classic. And, of course, you washed your hands after touching each item. Right?

Probably not.

Of the items around the kitchen, turns out those spice jars are the grossest, most contaminated things in it. At least that’s what the experts at the Journal of Food Protection found in a study they conducted.

You probably thought your sponges, washcloths, and brushes were the worst offenders. You’re not wrong. They’re bad! Very bad! In fact, the level of bacteria found in that sponge was equivalent to the amount found in feces.

And those cutting boards?—You’re better off chopping that salad on your toilet seat. In many kitchens, the latter would have less fecal bacteria.

Lost your appetite yet? There are even more cringeworthy revelations, brave reader!

Unavoidable Defects

While we’re discussing dung, you’re probably sipping some in your morning joe.

Animal droppings, bits of bugs, and rodent hairs are among the filthy things CNN discovered in your food.

The US Food and Drug Administration call these “unavoidable defects”. And if you’ve been part of the food chain that grows, harvests, or processes the things we eat, you know that it’s impossible to totally eliminate these substances.

Having spent a few weeks on a North Dakota farm one summer, no surprise to find that those waving fields of harvested grain contain bug parts. And so do many of the foods you eat each day, from peanut butter; to the stuff on your spice rack; to the produce in your freezer; and more. Added to the mix of insect parts, rodent hair is a regular feature.

Exactly how many unavoidable defects are there in the foods you eat? If you really wanna know, here’s the down low.

Strike a Pose

Which brings us to proof that everyone wants to be a social media celeb.

Apparently, rats taking selfies is a thing! French artist Augustin Lignier built two rodents a wonderful dwelling complete with sugar and camera. Say cheese; press a button; get some sweet stuff; and become an Internet star. Meant to be a commentary on addiction and social media, we’re left wondering about PETA’s thoughts on this.

What’s Cool

For the Kids and the Kid in You

Keeping with our apparent theme, Mouse Hunt is this musings edition pick for the kids in your home. And adults will love it, too! Featuring the talents of fellow Astoria native Christopher Walken, along with Nathan Lane and a host of others, Mouse Hunt was regular viewing in our home. Plus, it provides some needed comic spin on everything we’re discussed so far.

Cutting It

The folks at the Journal of Food Protection were not wrong about how gross that butcher-block cutting board can get. Having dined in the homes of professional chefs, I’ve seen them work their “magic” in the kitchen. Afterwards, the food didn’t go down quite as well as it could have. Cleaning cutting boards down properly is one solution. Popping them in the dishwasher is another.

I chose the latter of the two with cutting boards from Epicurean. Mine have gotten almost daily use for over a decade and have held up beautifully. Featuring non-slip pads and juice grooves, Epicurean cutting boards come in a variety of sizes and finishes. From 10” × 7” to 19.5” × 14.5” for the kitchen to 47. 5” × 19. 5” for tailgating or butchering, Epicurean cutting boards have been one way I’ve kept my kitchen clean!

Wiping It

Another item that’s been under my sink since the pandemic is Lysol Pro Kitchen Spray Cleaner. Great for all the surfaces in the kitchen, like most Lysol products it’s been tested and proven to eliminate 99.9% of viruses and bacteria. It’s great at removing grease and grime, too. And, as is the case with hand washing, use it regularly each day to keep those kitchen surfaces sanitized.

Cleaning Up

While you’re washing up consider the crud which accumulates on your soap dispenser. Like those spice jars, consider how often you touch it with unclean hands. Recommended by a member of our team, the PZOTRUF Automatic Soap Dispenser provides a touchless solution to that problem. In addition to the original silver tone dispenser, it also comes in a champagne gold tone. 

Bottoms Up

Given how this article started, we might want a drink! The KITESSENSU Cocktail Shaker Set Bartender Kit feels like it would be handy for creating that perfect martini or whatever whets your whistle. It also happens to come highly recommended by our resident mixologist.

What We’re Reading

Nonfiction

Long before Anthony Bourdain’s culinary revelations and travels or the advent of reality tv’s Fear Factor, Unmentionable Cuisine introduced us to unusual foods. First published in 1979, author Calvin W. Schwabe doesn’t sensationalize the unfamiliar eats of others. Instead, Unmentionable Cuisine engages, informs, and makes the reader question societal food prejudices. Recipes are included and, yes, bugs and rodents are on the menu.

Fiction